“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” — Khalil Gibran

You know if this tension keeps building, it won’t end well.

But everything seems irritating, wrong, and screwed up.

You were okay when you could get to meetings. In the meetings, you’re accepted. You belong, you’re with people who understand. But with the pandemic, that’s all changed.

It feels like the carpet’s been pulled from under your feet. You’re slipping and sliding trying to find solid footing, feeling shaky and scared.

And that flippin’ voice in your head is relentless in…

“The chains that break you, are the chains that make you. And the chains that make you, are the chains you break.” ― Anthony Liccione

Well now, here’s a big surprise.

Another day has come and gone. And despite your vows to make measurable progress, you did nothing. Again.

Sure, you thought about it a bit.

Maybe you even showed up for a while, dancing around the edges to look good. Or to ease off the self-blame and guilt for being a such a slacker.

But nothing concrete happened. Today was pretty much the same as yesterday. And the day…

Have you had it with walking on eggshells?

It’s exhausting. You’re constantly on high alert, radar up, scanning for signals to the mood they’re in.

The uncertainty makes you anxious and edgy, unsure of when things will turn sour. You feel mired in a perpetual state of hurt, always choking back emotions like shame and unworthiness.

You’ve put on so many masks to placate their drama you’re numbed out — hollow and void of any personal authenticity.

It makes you miserable, crushing your confidence and self-esteem.

Toxic relationships are like that. It isn’t a partnership of equals. …

“There is a crack in everything hat’s how the light gets in.” — Leonard Cohen

Maybe you are a bit too sensitive.

You feel things like negative emotions on a deeper level than others seem to.

And you’ve been burnt badly for sharing those feelings.

So you learned to hide from the world. Instead of taking a risk on being vulnerable, you retreat into the safety of stuffing negative emotions.

But the hurt’s still there…you try to let it go, yet the old wounds fester.

No surprise, really, the way painful events constantly replay in your mind. And you’re always…

“There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” — Leonard Cohen

Maybe you are a bit too sensitive.

You feel things like negative emotions on a deeper level than others seem to.

And you’ve been burnt badly for sharing those feelings.

So you learned to hide from the world. Instead of taking a risk on being vulnerable, you retreat into the safety of stuffing negative emotions.

But the hurt’s still there…you try to let it go, yet the old wounds fester.

No surprise, really, the way painful events constantly replay in your mind. And you’re always…

“We are so scared of being judged that we look for every excuse to procrastinate.” — Erica Jong

What the heck is going on?

Your goal is clear, you’re organized, and you’ve made time in your daily schedule.

So why can’t you get started on your dream project?

It’s so frustrating and discouraging.

You want to work on it. But some underlying, invisible dread seems to holds you back.

And instead of creating your magnum opus, you watch like a bystander as momentum fades in the face of denial and excuses.

Traditional wisdom tells us procrastination is the result of…

Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash

Nope. Not today. Not this time.

This time I’m not giving in. I’ve made up my mind and I’m sticking to it. This time, I’m asking for that raise/I’m saying no/I’m starting my new routine.

I absolutely refuse to cave in again today.

Today, right now, I will be strong, ask for what I want, and stand up for myself.

I’ll be brilliant and tough as a diamond! I’m going for it!

Oh, shit. Was that a disapproving look? Are they already mad at me?

Great, now I’m getting all jittery. I think I’m going to cry. …

Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

Can you feel the weight of it?

It’s oppressive; heavy, dark, and uncomfortable.

The pressure of it wakes you at 2:00 a.m., and fills the dark hours with thoughts of disaster. And you can’t seem to pull your mind back from ruminating about the worst.

You wake feeling edgy and impatient — irritable with even minor issues.

Then there’s the constant undercurrent of fear and feelings of being alone, helpless, and vulnerable. You’re always on defense, constantly scanning for (and finding) problems.

It makes you doubt yourself, uncertain of how to proceed. So, you do nothing.

You try your best…

Photo by Tristan Colangelo on Unsplash

Have you figured it out yet? How you’re going to magically multiply the hours in a day to increase your productivity?

You’re already doing everything the success mavens say to do.

You know all the clever hacks, like controlling your calendar and doing the tough tasks first.

You have a morning routine, an evening routine, and get up well before dawn to start your day.

And yet, you’re barely keeping your head above water — never mind getting ahead.

Naturally, your 14-hour days have eliminated any social life.

Instead of hitting your pace, it feels like you’re going backwards. You’re…

Photo by Vladislav Babienko on Upslash

So, what the heck’s going on here?

Last night you vowed that today would be different.

You decided that you were going to have focus, discipline, and stick to your schedule exactly as you’d planned it.

And yet… another day, just like yesterday, has come and gone. And nothing changed.

You have the best intentions.

Your plans and goals and schedule are all written down. You know what you’d like to happen, and occasionally, you do get in a couple of good days.

Then some shiny, new object distracts you. Or someone else needs your time. …

Lorna Kring

A life and sobriety coach I assist clients to eliminate negative patterns, crystalize priorities, and attain goals. https://www.smarthabitsremarkableresults.com

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